Weep for yourself, my man, you’ll never be what is in your heart. Squeeze the fruit dry and toss out the remains. Let the rotting peel gather flies and gnats and cause the passerby to hold his nose. Show no fear or remorse, but stiff up your lip and silently grimace. You know the road ahead is bumpy, but there is no growth to be found hiding under a blanket. Let the passion pour into a bottomless drain that never seems to fill up.
It’s empty in the valley of your heart. The sun, it rises slowly as you walk. The desert path winds behind mountains never before known to man. But you cross the threshold from light into darkness and come out on the other side. No reservations, no expectations, just wide eyes and open arms as the vultures circle your future corpse. But you smile at the death staring you in the face and run through the scorching afternoon with reckless disregard. Run, even though everybody demands you not. Throw your hands in the air and scream at the top of your lungs a sound that only you can produce. Then, and only then, you’ll be free.
On that last night in paradise, I looked deep into your eyes. I thought, hoped perhaps, that I might see in them a depth of emotion I so desperately craved. I felt, at that moment, that I could find a way to make you mine. Your brown skin twinkled in the starlight soon to turn daybreak. My body trembled as our fingers touched for one last time. I kissed your motionless forehead and lips and you smiled and shook your head. I walked to the beach, lamenting the void I found in your gaze. How could I feel strongly so for one so empty? I looked at her wrist that bore familiar scars of previous loves. I saw the cry for help and I knew I was drawn to that, her breathtaking form only an added bonus to the cracked canvas in need of ding repair. I sat by the embers of a fire we had built together and, now alone, found the logs to rebuild the fire. It hurt less that you had refused to walk with me than it did to know it to be for the better. The sound of the waves and the jungle gently confirmed my deduction. I reentered the house in a stupor that some would call actualized and more would call foolish. I watched your still body, twitching on that couch in the air conditioning. Part of me so wanted to jump on you and convince you how real this feeling truly was. But the rest of me begrudgingly accepted us to never be as one again. I went to bed alone that night. And I wake up now, alone, away from the calm reassurance of the ocean and the rainforest, reminiscing about carnal desire and a love that was never to be.
Bring me back to your sun-dipped kisses.
Take my eyes if they can see
not another sunset floating in paradise.
Bring me back to your lip-biting gaze.
My heart beats endlessly on
in sight only of your dripping form.
Bring me back to your unbridled laughter.
The rainforest is still giggling
even as I sit in vague despair.
Bring me back to your guarded embrace.
Swept up in the beauty of it all
but hesitant to let me hurt you.
Bring me back to your invigorating plea.
Ignore the call of the water and the wild,
I’d sooner lay down and die.
Bring me back to your love that once burned strong.
Your carnal desire still flickering in the fire on the beach
with nobody to fan the flames.
Bring me back to that vacant paradise.
Maybe then I’ll realize I’m not alone,
you’re right here with me still.